Sunday, 3 February 2019

Parenting; from survive to thrive

Parenting hacks - using the chaos to build character

Some days you wake up, and there is only one thing on your mind: survival. Your goal is simply to get through the day; feed everyone, end the sibling conflicts without anyone loosing an eye, and hope that at least some maths gets done. Survive.

Deep rooted in amongst all the chaos, we know that there is more to this homeschooling life than just survival. None of us are home educating so our family can just merely survive. We want everyone to thrive.

Yet somehow, the success of the long game thriving seems to be blown into the waters when the short game moments of surviving present themselves;
the laundry that needs doing,
the nappies that need changing,
the squabbles that need separating,
the dinner that needs making,
the matted knots of tangled hair that needs brushing,
the tantrums that need calming (and we're not just talking about the kids here!),
the dishes that need washing,
and in amongst all this we need to fit in homeschool, personal hygiene and sleep.

And so its too easy to go through each day in survival mode rather than thriving mode. Do what needs to be done in the moment that presents itself.

Reflect


Stop.

Ask yourself what is it that you really want for your children? Because you and I both know we want more for them than to just survive.

What qualities do you hope to cultivate within them that they will be able to carry and take into their own adulthood?

Now, take a deep look at your family, and ask yourself what percentage of your time do you actually spend intentionally developing those qualities in your children?

When we are in a state of survival, its really difficult to pay attention to creating experiences which truly seek to carve a path which allows our children to thrive not just in the future, but today as well.

You see, what we're missing is all these moments of survival we encounter, are in fact teachable moments to pass onto our children to help them thrive inshaAllah.

If we take a step back, and allow ourselves to look objectively at what is going on, being proactive rather than reactive, we will see that amongst all the chaos are priceless teachable moments about love, connection, responsibility and consequences.

These important lessons help develop our children's brains, their thinking, their values, their relationship skills, their character and how they view themselves.

They are still learning what will happen when they snatch a toy or hit their brother, they are still learning what will happen when they tantrum over maths or empty the liquid soap into the sink to play with it like slime.

Look at the chaos from the perspective of being teachable moments.

We don't need a lesson plan or to schedule in time to teach our children about resolving conflict, managing a home, or getting the right nutrition.

We teach them these things in each moment which presents itself...even if the timing is not quite so convenient.

Keep cool. Stay calm (or at least fake it). We can't control the speech and actions of others, but we can control our own. Be proactive instead of reactive.

Transform these moments of survival into ones that help you all thrive inshaAllah.

Parenting hack - use the chaos to teach your children to build their character and values

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